Self doubt and paranoia…

I am trying very hard not to scream. I just had a convo with the Health Visitor - PW had been referred for ASD assessment by the previous HV through the GP and it had been turned down, new HV doesn't know why. So new HV contacted the Nursery Teacher to get the school to…

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Stepping out of the comfort zone.

A.M. Tomorrow is the DWP Tribunal and I’m having a serious problem staying calm. From the outside I probably look like I’m fine, but my stomach is shivering and I’m having trouble breathing properly. I know what it is – I’m on the edge of an anxiety attack, but I can’t let myself go and…

Autistic Motherhood

I read the open letter to Kibo on Autistic Motherhood today... and added my request to be added to the signees. I also read the response post... As a writer myself, I understand that creative expression can take many forms and that often, we writers may deliberately portray things negatively in order to provoke a…

Trying to Help Others Understand Anxiety

Anxiety is a big part of my life – I’ve never been able to explain how my anxiety affects my life… now I can.

I’m lucky, I have more starts at 0 than someone with a more severe anxiety problem. However, add some of my triggers and I jump from 0 to 4 without passing through the previous levels – there is no build up. Some days I wake up already on a 2 or 3 and that jump can take me to a 5 or 6.

I have rare days where I’m a 7 or 8 after the jump, but I’ve not yet experienced 9 or above… yet.

Unlovable

Whenever I start to explain that part of my mental illness diagnosis includes severe anxiety, I always receive confused looks.  They are usually followed by judgmental comments about how “everyone has problems and stress in their lives”, telling me that I need to “learn to cope and work through it all”.  I get told that I “shouldn’t let every little thing get to me” and that I’d be so much happier if I “stopped stressing over everything and just mellowed out”.

I have others that have gone so far as to make accusations about whether my anxiety is even real or just in my head.  They’ll question how I could claim I’m “too anxious” to go somewhere to fill out paperwork yet am “perfectly comfortable attending things like farmer’s markets or street fairs”.  I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t the same thing.  I don’t have social anxiety.  People and…

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Making Connections…

I've been seeing increasing numbers of my female friends (both from the real world and the digital world) speaking out on various issues. Some of these issues I have experience with and some I don't, but in an effort to support my friends (and no matter how I know them, they are my friends) I…

A sense of connection…

I read through the article below and with every story, I felt more and more connected to the women telling their stories. I've self diagnosed, but should I push for a formal diagnosis this late in my life? I don't know - it's an oddly scary thought, I feel anxious just thinking about it. Why…

Extreme FOMO

This explains a great deal of how I feel.
I’ve not had as much of a problem with exhaustion as Ann has, but FOMO is a big problem for me.

Finally Knowing Me: An Autistic Life

The post about saying farewell to the strong woman actually started off with the above title, but it grew into something else, so I’ll have another go at talking about extreme FOMO here.

Just in case there’s anyone reading who doesn’t already know and hasn’t already googled, FOMO stands for Fear Of Missing Out, and it’s defined on Wikipedia as “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent” and goes on to mention the anxiety of missing out on opportunities for social interaction, fear of having made erroneous decisions, and regret.

Of course, everyone gets FOMO sometimes. I think it’s unlikely that anyone reading this hasn’t, at one time or another during their lives, either missed out on getting tickets for a concert, had to pull out of a race injured, been unable to attend a celebration owing to illness, or simply had…

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Our Family Hobbies: TOH

I thought it might be interesting for those of you reading this blog to find out a little bit more about our family. So we're starting with the Head of the Family - TOH.   TOH is a puzzler. He loves Console games that make him think and have a certain amount of challenge to…

Emotions and Poetry: Heart

People with ASD aren't supposed to be empathic or understand emotions. Maybe that's true for some of us, but not for all of us... yet it's one of the many myths that gets trotted out time and time again. We have problems showing our emotions; we have problems with feeling too much and being overwhelmed…