Warning, Rant ahead – KIDS!

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and their unique ways of looking at the world, their excitement about their passions and their joy in the smallest of details. This is one of the good things about being an ASD family. However, when you are ASD yourself, you often find that those things irritate…

Father’s Day Thoughts with Snow – Fall Quietly by Linnie Buhman

Snow – Fall Quietly Reach down deep in your pocket And drop a handful of softness To brighten up the night. Pull all the down from all the geese Making sure they are the purest white; But do it quietly! 'cause my baby sleeps tonight! How will I explain such beauty? Please tell me how…

Some VERY important information…

Hi. This is only going to be a short post from me because I want you to go read someone else' post. It's a really important post that needs to be read by as many people as possible - doesn't matter if you are the one with ASD or a parent or carer or relative…

Self doubt and paranoia…

I am trying very hard not to scream. I just had a convo with the Health Visitor - PW had been referred for ASD assessment by the previous HV through the GP and it had been turned down, new HV doesn't know why. So new HV contacted the Nursery Teacher to get the school to…

Stepping out of the comfort zone.

A.M. Tomorrow is the DWP Tribunal and I’m having a serious problem staying calm. From the outside I probably look like I’m fine, but my stomach is shivering and I’m having trouble breathing properly. I know what it is – I’m on the edge of an anxiety attack, but I can’t let myself go and…

Autistic Motherhood

I read the open letter to Kibo on Autistic Motherhood today... and added my request to be added to the signees. I also read the response post... As a writer myself, I understand that creative expression can take many forms and that often, we writers may deliberately portray things negatively in order to provoke a…

Trying to Help Others Understand Anxiety

Anxiety is a big part of my life – I’ve never been able to explain how my anxiety affects my life… now I can.

I’m lucky, I have more starts at 0 than someone with a more severe anxiety problem. However, add some of my triggers and I jump from 0 to 4 without passing through the previous levels – there is no build up. Some days I wake up already on a 2 or 3 and that jump can take me to a 5 or 6.

I have rare days where I’m a 7 or 8 after the jump, but I’ve not yet experienced 9 or above… yet.

Unlovable

Whenever I start to explain that part of my mental illness diagnosis includes severe anxiety, I always receive confused looks.  They are usually followed by judgmental comments about how “everyone has problems and stress in their lives”, telling me that I need to “learn to cope and work through it all”.  I get told that I “shouldn’t let every little thing get to me” and that I’d be so much happier if I “stopped stressing over everything and just mellowed out”.

I have others that have gone so far as to make accusations about whether my anxiety is even real or just in my head.  They’ll question how I could claim I’m “too anxious” to go somewhere to fill out paperwork yet am “perfectly comfortable attending things like farmer’s markets or street fairs”.  I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t the same thing.  I don’t have social anxiety.  People and…

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Making Connections…

I've been seeing increasing numbers of my female friends (both from the real world and the digital world) speaking out on various issues. Some of these issues I have experience with and some I don't, but in an effort to support my friends (and no matter how I know them, they are my friends) I…

Emotions and Poetry: Heart

People with ASD aren't supposed to be empathic or understand emotions. Maybe that's true for some of us, but not for all of us... yet it's one of the many myths that gets trotted out time and time again. We have problems showing our emotions; we have problems with feeling too much and being overwhelmed…

A New Arrival…

Surprise Bump lived up to his name... He was due on 30th January (aka today!) but decided in his impatience to be out and about in the world, that he'd come early. I'd already decided (along with the consultant and the midwife) that an induction on the due date would be happening. The idea behind…