Being a Mother

I have this absurd idea of what a family is supposed to be like. It's an amalgamation of all the things that I've absorbed from TV, Movies, books as I grew up.  That's how ASD kids learn a lot of the time, you see; it means that we tend to have odd notions of how…

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A Silly Tale

I love this – it’s a perfect allegorical explanation for melting down and burning out.

Finally Knowing Me: An Autistic Life

My Executive is not functioning
Their suit is creased,
They cannot find their papers
And their briefcase
Is full of ash.

The ash is from my burnout
And it spills all over the office
In great clouds,
Covering everything
In a fine dust
That will take some time
To clean up.

In the meantime
My constant hand flapping
Is spreading the ash still further
And it reflects the light
Coming in from the windows
And makes stimmy patterns
In the air.

When the ash settles on the desk
I like to run my fingers through it
And make circles in it
And then wash my hands
Because it feels a bit weird
On my skin.
Sand is nicer to play with.

My Words keep going AWOL
But they never leave a forwarding address
They just disappear.
I think they go off for a holiday
Sometimes.
Or perhaps they’re just down…

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Females with Aspergers Syndrome Checklist by Samantha Craft

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it helped me to know who I am – I am an Aspie / ASD person. I’m posting this because I think it would help more people to know about it.

Everyday Aspie

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and based on my experience after 12 years of researching about autism and being officially diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. It is not meant to replace the DSM-V Autism Spectrum Disorder definition nor is this list meant to serve as an official diagnostic tool. Hundreds of women have used this list in conjunction with the DSM-IV or DSM-V and a professional mental health professional’s guidance. It is also based on 4.5 years of communicating almost daily with those that are diagnosed with autism and some that believe themselves to be on the spectrum. It is not all inclusive. Some will fit into categories and not be autistic/Asperian. This is meant as a springboard for discussion and more awareness into the female experience with autism.

* Highly intelligent does not relate to IQ levels. Often Aspies are dyslexic and have dysgraphia and other learning disabilities but can be highly intelligent about particular subject…

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Hypothesis Formation

A whole year has passed – doesn’t time fly when you’re preoccupied…

Finally Knowing Me: An Autistic Life

Yesterday, the following status appeared in my facebook memories from one year ago:

Did all that just happen? Now to try and remember what I was doing 3 weeks ago. And to consider what to do with the new information concerning how my head reacts to stuff.

At that point I didn’t mention on my facebook wall that it had been suggested by several people that I might be autistic. I just vaguely alluded to “new information” about “my head”. As far as I was concerned, the notion of me being autistic seemed extremely strange, extremely unnerving, and, as far as I knew at that point, extremely “not me”!!!

Oh, how I laugh at that last bit now!!!!!

I certainly wasn’t going to start chattering on about it on facebook at that time, and, as far as I can remember, I was still really regarding the whole “me being autistic”…

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Autistic Burnout: a special kind of weary

I think I am teetering on the edge of Burnout… and constantly trying to pull myself back from the edge of it. The last time I burned out, I lost my memory of that time for over 6 months and it took me 2 years to come back from it.
This time I am afraid that I might not come out at all, so I fight it…

A Voice Released

How do you start the day?

I start with a well-researched concoction of supplements to help reduce the effects of burnout and deficiencies. Magnesium and B vitamins feature highly. I also take natural anti-inflammatories and vitamin D amongst the plethora of other goodies. Without them, the desire to curl up and sleep is constant throughout the day and I feel generally “wrong”.
This isn’t just tiredness. This is a special (and possibly unnecessary) kind of Weary.

Looking back I think I’ve always struggled with episodes of burnout. School knocked me out, and by the time I was 16 I was too confused by and terrified of what the outside world expected of me to continue formal education. I tried for another two years but it was disastrous and I spiralled down into an unhappy mess where just about everything felt like a struggle. In the interim 30 years (for most…

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The women who don’t know they’re autistic

This is both interesting and hopeful…

The World of The Teigr Princess

Autism manifests in different ways. The signs are often less visible in women than in men, leading many to be underdiagnosed.

Source: The women who don’t know they’re autistic

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Being self diagnosed myself, I’m glad that more research is being done into Female ASD – perhaps this way, more help can be made available for every child with a diagnosis and for more adults.

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Finding Normal…

"There is no such thing as Normal." I keep getting told. "Every one is different and unique." That's not the "Normal" that I'm talking about. Everyone in the world, no matter where they are, has a certain level of "Normal" that they like their life to be like. It's different for each person - as…

Going Back

The latest blog from Ann. Makes me think…

Finally Knowing Me: An Autistic Life

I returned
To the place
Where life
Fell apart
Last year.

To the scene
Of so many
Meltdowns
And tears
And disasters.

To the memories
Of fear
And difficulty
And wondering
Why
I couldn’t
Just get on with life
Like most others
Could.

A whole day
To pack.
The journey there
Dissociated.

Focusing on
The practical.
Doing the most
Essential bits.
Taking as much
Time out
Alone
As possible.

Starting to learn
To accept
Help
Even though
It is counter
To everything
I have ever
Worked for.
Having to change
My mindset.

Struggling sometimes
Someone talking
To me
When I wasn’t able
To process speech.
Conflicting instructions.
Near meltdown
But not quite.
Speech gone
For just over
Five hours.

Consciously being
With other people
When I couldn’t speak.
Instead of texting in
“Sick”
And staying away
As I would have done
Previously.

Senses on overload
Lights too bright
Music…

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Guest Blog: The loss of our youthful dreams by Vivienne Tuffnell

This isn’t strictly an aspergers / autism post, but it brought up an interesting thought that connects with it…

If my HFA kids are anything to go by (YMMV) they love to have stability and structure on one hand and on the other, they yearn to travel and have exciting experiences as much as non autistic…
They worry about missing these things and their FOMO level is often quite high, especially if you have one who is an extrovert like PT.

The difficulty is reassuring them that they will have these experiences in the future, my kids don’t seem to be able to see past next week!

The World of The Teigr Princess

I have the absolute pleasure of introducing one of the most unique authors I know. Her books are beautifully written, multilayered stories that are entertaining to read, but also make you think about the issues contained within the pages.

Today’s post is inspired by her latest novel, “Little Gidding Girl”. I purchased a copy in my hands and will be reading and reviewing it soon… so, without further ado,  I’ll hand you over to Vivienne…

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What did you want to be when you were a teenager? What shining golden dream did you hold towards the end of school or college?
Without doing a proper poll, I suspect that few of us achieved those dreams. At fourteen, I still dreamed of becoming an astronaut. By the following year I realised it was never likely to happen. Of all the career paths, that’s possibly one of the…

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My Personal Autism Journey

While I was putting together my Patreon Page for my Books, I included a short piece about how our family discovered that we were Autistic. I won't put it here, I've already told you about my family... but if you want to take a look at my Patreon page it's HERE. (Just click on the bold…