“There is no such thing as Normal.” I keep getting told. “Every one is different and unique.”
That’s not the “Normal” that I’m talking about.
Everyone in the world, no matter where they are, has a certain level of “Normal” that they like their life to be like. It’s different for each person – as different as each person themselves.
Normal is when you’re comfortable with what is going on around you and you have regular things happening that have always happened. When you have your little bubble world sorted into the order that you like it in.
All humans are uncomfortable when their Normal is disturbed, but those who don’t have ASD can change their level of Normal fairly quickly. They can cope with little changes to Normal without feeling unhappy or anxious; big changes to Normal can be reasoned through and adapted to.
For the last year, my life has been anything but normal for me.
We’ve moved house twice – the first time was because our Landlord “decided to sell” the house we were living in, and had lived in for 13 years. We had to pack up and move to a temporary house while we looked for more permanent place to live.
The second move was from the temporary house to the house that we’d found to move to.
In that time, I found my Normal just after Christmas in the temporary house. We lived in that house for six months and it took me four months or so to find my Normal. The older children adapted slightly faster, but that was because we didn’t change their school – they had the routine of taking the train to school (before we moved they caught a school bus) and seeing their classmates, teachers etc the entire time.
Having moved to the house that we’ll be living in for (crosses fingers) the foreseeable future, I can’t find my Normal again. I know it’ll turn up again, but until it does I will feel anxious and on edge.
It’s especially bad this time because I’m pregnant and I’ve gone off a lot of the food that I normally eat, including Dairy, Chocolate, Tea and Coffee. I feel queasy no matter what I eat or drink and I’m incredibly tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. I’ve gone through pregnancy three times before. Each one has been different, but I’ve never felt like this before and it’s making me twice as anxious as any of the others did.
I need my Normal back. I need it to balance out the way that the pregnancy is making me feel.